March 7, 2006

  • competition and anxiety (the good kind...haha you are probably wondering if that's possible but read on homie!).  i think that's what i've needed and lacked throughout my college years.  though, not to say i thought my classes weren't competitive enough, because some courses were hardcore and kicked my ass (stat 134, ieor131, chem1a (oh god, the horror!), physics 7a), but the kind of competition i'm talking about is through sports.  and the kind of anxiety is more of a type of anticipation to compete and not so much of the i'm-so-not-prepared-for-this-final-and-i'm-going-to-flunk-it anxiety...which i often got.


    in college, i somewhat just stopped playing sports.  sure, i went to badminton a few times here and there at the RSF but it was never anything that i kept up with b/c (1) school was pretty shitty sometimes...and stupid ass homework, (2) group meetings were held at that time, (3) parties, (4) the times the gym was open for badminton conflicted with something else, or (4) didn't have anyone to play with.    but i guess what suddenly ignited such feelings were caused by the events that occured today.  i know this is retaaaaaaaaarded and stupiiiiiiiiiiid, and honestly, i think mostly its just because i'm a very competitive person...but anyway...its been a while since i've lost a girls' doubles match in badminton against high school kids.  i mean, i know i really have nothing to complain about because really, they've been in practice/season for over a month now, they are seniors (for most, the glory year-the year they are unbeatable), and if they still can't beat old farts like myself then that's REALLY bad....but i'm just so akldfj;alkdsjf;lkasdjf  about it and i want to start really seriously playing again to be good again.  i can't handle losing!!


    and i don't only feel this way in badminton, but in ice skating too.  after having not been on the ice for what seems like FOREVER now, and having gone skating in taiwan just brought back so many happy memories for me.  i miss ice skaaaaaaaaaating!!! *special thanks to tiffany who set it up and brought me to the ice rink both days!!!  it's so unfair that you and jeffrey are going w/o me!!!* and though i'm more than a week late, i finally got around to watching the figure skating portion of the 2006 winter olympics today (hey, is it my fault people in taiwan don't give a rats ass about the olympics??? ) and i don't know what it was but i just got this huge urge to grab my skates and go skating.  i don't know why i don't just go.  i do nothing all day but sleep!


    and then i think about skiing and how little i've gone in the past 2 years.  sure, i was really anti-skiing for a lil bit b/c there was just so many people at the resort that last time i went and it just drove me insane...but i've been itching to go and i've only gone like 1/2 a day this season b/c the weather was so shitty on xmas.  ugh.


    and then i think about how i haven't gone to the gym since school got out and how i probably can't even lift anything anymore and it just makes me sad.  i also need to work on my cardio b/c i probably can't even run a mile now w/o panting.  i need to build up my endurance and strength.  oiyeee.  what has become of me???


    and so i've decided.  work starts on wednesday and i'll let that sink in for a bit before it all begins.  how, you ask?  gonna go get me a membership at 24hour and start working out again.  gonna go to open gyms every monday and saturdays and do drills!  there's a nice ass ice skating rink in s.f. that i used to skate at and i'll hit up that place after work sometimes.  who's down for hitting up tahoe on the weekends as well???!!! lemme know cause i need to start doing some aerials.  hahaa.  or come to think of it...let's just keep it at the low jumps for now  . 


    it's never too late for some new year's resolutions!

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